Read time 3 minutes 40 seconds
Society conditioned me to be strong, stoic, and unemotional.
This built a wall between me and my authentic self.
If this sounds familiar, rest assured, you're not alone.
Here's the price I paid for suppressing emotions and hiding my feelings:
Damaged relationships
Messed up mental health
Lack of fulfillment in daily life
Missed opportunities for growth
But don't worry; there are ways to break free from this confinement.
Here are 3 ideas
Develop a habit of self inquiry: Take a moment after every activity and interaction to ask yourself, "why did I say/do that?" Start small. Focus on the ones that trigger you in a bad way.
Find a safe space: Build a supportive environment and circle online. Find a Discord server, subreddit, or Fb group where you feel comfortable expressing your emotions without judgment or criticism. This will provide the freedom necessary for your emotional growth.
Emotional outlets: Discover outlets to express your positive + negative emotions. It could be journaling, creative arts, mindfulness, sports, physical exercise, or the Tyler Durden kind—Fight Club. Do whatever to open that champagne bottle of emotions.
How to start expressing your emotions
If you’ve been suppressing or repressing your emotions for too long, I want you to try some or all of the following strategies to liberate yourself.
Stop silencing yourself. If you do it to avoid conflict, realize that conflict leads to clarity. If shame keeps you from expressing yourself, work on your beliefs around emotional expression.
Temporarily cut connection with people who shame you for expressing your emotional ups and downs. Get yourself to a safe space where you can be YOU without fear of judgement.
Launch your version 2.0. Go nuts. I mean it. Shave your head or change your clothing style. Do whatever to build a new you. This will serve as a cue for yourself and others that you mean business.
Write about your new identity. Tell yourself who you are now, and what people need to know about you because you ain’t bullshitting no more. Literally, think of scenarios like ‘if someone asks me how are you?, I will tell them how exactly I am and how life is fucked up this week.’ (Example: My response when a new friend asked me how I am and what I have been up to 👇)
Walk the talk. Go out and do what you have never done before. Cry when you want to. Feel sad, weak, or shit when you want to and express it. Tell ‘em you’re not a superhuman. You’re just a simple human. You’re also afraid of things sometimes and you also lose track of the direction in life.
Wear your heart on your sleeve. Be vulnerable and speak from your heart. Initially, let your words be raw and unfiltered. With time, you'll learn to articulate your feelings more effectively. First step is to let it out, without giving a second thought.
Prioritize open dialogue in your relationships. Go to friends/family and tell them that it’s the rule from now on. We dialogue, debate, and discuss everything to its core. On a table. One human to another.
That’s a wrap.
I know, breaking free from emotional suppression might not be as straightforward for everyone.
But you don't have to go through it alone. Seek support from trusted friends, non-toxic family members, or find a pro.
I personally know two experts who can provide guidance, understanding, and encouragement on your journey:
Together, you can overcome the barriers and pave the road to authentic expression.
My dear hard-on-yourself friend, it's time to shed the old conditioning. Protecting your emotional fortress isn't necessary anymore.
Your emotions are your strength, and expressing them will lead you to a deeper connection with yourself and others. You deserve to be free!
Until next time,
Hassaan